“I wanted to see what would happen if I didn’t give up” - littlestlady.com

Straight Edge Without the Label!

Hello there poppets,

How are we?

Now last week I introduced you guys to the illuminators and talked about how comic books had played a huge part in my past and how they were really that saving grace for me. Today i want to talk a little further about how those comic books saved me but in a different way

If you guys follow me on social media you’ll know that i spent last week on my blog talking about how comic books saved me through some of my darkest days and how they were a complete escape world for me to delve into when life was really tough and my abuse was at its worse. But also further from that those comic books saved me from a lot more as i could of been using something far worse to cope with what i was going through.

Now when i was in my abusers care still and locked in my bedroom i didn’t really have any other way to help me cope with what i was going through but when i left her care and was placed into a hostel i had a lot of other options.

I was put into a hostel for young people that had been taken out of home for all sorts of reasons and it was filled with every substance going and in that moment i had to make a choice.Bearing in mind that not only was i dealing with the previous abuse but i was also learning that it was abuse and how serious it was and also had my main abuser constantly threatening me and others and trying to find out where i was.

But in that moment i said that wasn’t a path i was going to go down.

Shortly before i left my main abusers care she tore up all my comic books so i had to go to the library to read any and boy was i teased something chronic. Still i would always chose those books over my other option which was much more harmful.

I chose them over other substances for many reason. Ive talked a lot on my blog about how I’ve always been a people watcher id watch people from my earliest of day when they were drinking and always found it a parculier thing to do. The more i watched the more i noticed that those who were using substances and using them excessively were doing it to try and help cope with all different aspects of life and its difficulties.

I also was brought up with a lot of punk and growing up branched out to listening to more hardcore punk and came across bands like minor threat and their messages. I then would look into stories of their fans and why they’d chosen to not use substances and really connect the dots.

With all these things i collectively made a decision to actually not delve into substance at all and I sort of made it my mission to deal with any emotion that came my way,to rationalise with it and almost make friends with it instead of treating it as the enemy and support myself with good wholesome things instead of substance.

Though delving into those things doesn’t make us bad people and doesn’t say that we cant recover after but Im really grateful that at 24 years of age i can say i have never smoked, drank or done drugs. Ive never touched them.

Though i was picked on so badly for reading comic books i stuck to my guns and read them because i enjoyed them so much. Only am i realising now that they saved me in a completely different way to just being an escape route for me.

Though i know now people can drink in a responsible manner and sensibly its just not something I’m interested in. That may change in the future but with how i am i sort of doubt that it would.

I don’t really call myself straight edge

I mean i don’t feel i really fit into that category and I’m certainly not cool enough. However i couldn’t appreciate and understand that whole subculture more and it definelty shaped my path and at a really important time.

I encourage anyone out there to stick to what they love no matter of other peoples opinions. Its so important to do so and you really don’t grasp how much those things can help you until later. Wether its comic books, or a band thats not particularly popular with everyone else. Stick to what you love and hold on to it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this little post and I’m sorry there is no video this week. Unfortunetly i have been having a little difficulties with my camera but it will be back up and running soon!

Let me know in the comments one thing that helps you through your tough days!

littlestlady

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